revision one

Tom had typed out a huge response, but it got eaten by the 'net demons, so he gave it to me all in person. Gist of it was: I'm trying to do too much all at once. And, as usual, he's right. So, we're scraping the fact that she's just moved into a new place (note: I'd meant a new house in the same town, I forgot to specify that, not that it matters now), it's not really needed. I just needed a reason for her to've not found out about the space before, and I think her having been in a different bedroom or something would be reason enough. Switching bedrooms as you get older isn't that uncommon, so that works just fine.

Tom also took the basic elements of my story, and completely recast them, and rewrote the whole thing as a movie I was watching the whole time he was talking. He thinks in movies - in plot, in rising action, in drama, in camera angles, in new twists. I think in songs - mood and atmosphere, emotion, the small details that loom large in everyday life, sketches and scenes. He's great with ideas, I'm better with pretty execution. This is why we're such a huge help to each other on projects. :)

His revisioning took my story in a very different direction, with the drawings on the wall taking the center part of things - that idea, he's always liked, and wants to make the center of it. His version of the story looked really, really great (again, I can never help but visualise his ideas), and felt the way my capstone grew to feel once I'd refined it to where I wanted it. But.. it didn't feel quite *me* anymore. So I'm going to do some pretty heavy thinking on it today, and see what I come up with. Comments suggestions etc still HUUUUGELY welcome, I could use the help. ^^;